The majority of individuals don’t want to talk about the effect hearing loss has on relationships, even though it’s an issue many people cope with. Both partners can feel frustrated by the misunderstandings that are caused by hearing loss.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner isn’t it a great time to express your love and appreciation for your loved one? A great way to do this is to talk to your loved one about your hearing loss.
Having “the talk”
Studies have revealed that a person with neglected hearing loss is 2.4 times more likely to develop dementia, and that includes Alzheimer’s disease. When the region of your brain used for hearing becomes less engaged, it can start a cascade effect that can impact your whole brain. This is called brain atrophy by doctors. It’s the “use it or lose it” idea in action.
Depression rates amongst those with hearing loss are almost twice that of a person with healthy hearing. Individuals frequently become stressed and agitated as their hearing loss progresses according to research. This can lead to the person being self isolated from friends and family. They are also likely to stop involving themselves in the activities they used to enjoy as they fall deeper into a state of sadness.
This, in turn, can lead to relationship strain among mother and son, father and daughter, close friends, spouses, and others in this person’s life. Communication problems need to be managed with patients and compassion.
Mystery solved
Your loved one may not be ready to inform you they are developing hearing loss. They may be afraid or embarrassed. They could be in denial. You may need to do a bit of detective work to determine when it’s time to have the talk.
Here are a few outward cues you will have to rely on because you can’t hear what other people are hearing:
- Frequent misunderstandings
- Complaining about buzzing, humming, static, or other sounds that you don’t hear
- Avoiding conversations
- Avoiding busy places
- Agitation or anxiety in social settings that you haven’t previously observed
- Failing to hear alarms, doorbells, and other essential sounds
- Turning the volume way up on your TV
- Sudden difficulty with work, hobbies, or school
Plan to have a heart-to-heart talk with your loved one if you detect any of these symptoms.
How to talk about hearing loss
This talk might not be an easy one to have. A loved one might become defensive and brush it off if they’re in denial. That’s why discussing hearing loss in the right way is so relevant. The steps will be basically the same but perhaps with some small modifications based on your particular relationship situation.
- Step 1: Let them know that you love them unconditionally and value your relationship.
- Step 2: You’re worried about their health. You’ve read the studies. You’re aware that a higher risk of depression and dementia comes along with neglected hearing loss. You don’t want your loved one to go through that.
- Step 3: Your own safety and health are also a concern. An excessively loud TV could damage your hearing. Also, your relationship can be affected, as studies have shown that overly loud noise can trigger anxiety. If you have an intruder in your house or you’ve fallen down, your partner may not hear you yelling for help. Emotion is a strong way to connect with others. Merely listing facts won’t have as much impact as painting an emotional picture.
- Step 4: Decide together to make an appointment to get a hearing test. Do it immediately after making the decision. Don’t delay.
- Step 5: Be prepared for opposition. You could encounter these objections at any point in the process. This is a person you know well. What will their doubts be? Will it be lack of time, or money? Perhaps they don’t see that it’s an issue. Do they believe they can utilize do-it-yourself remedies? (You know “natural hearing loss cures” don’t actually work and could do more harm than good.)
Be prepared with your answers. You might even rehearse them in the mirror. They don’t have to match those listed above word-for-word, but they should address your loved one’s worries.
Relationship growth
Talking about hearing loss isn’t easy if your partner doesn’t want to discuss it. Openly talking about the impact of hearing loss on your relationship can help to solidify a plan to address any communication challenges and ensure that both partners are heard and understood. By doing this, your relationship will get stronger and your partner will take steps to live a longer, healthier life. Growing together – isn’t that what love is all about?
References
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/statistics/quick-statistics-hearing#
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/hearing-loss-common-problem-older-adults